


as pure as a prayer

by lostin_space



Series: Him. [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Malex Week 2020, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25335709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: Alex is overwhelmed; Michael tries to help.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Him. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834921
Comments: 15
Kudos: 78
Collections: Roswell New Mexico ▶ Michael Guerin / Alex Manes





	as pure as a prayer

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally going to be a little more NSFW but i wasn't feeling it so here's this instead. Sort of a bridge between the first and a sequel idk if I'm gonna write
> 
> day 5 of malex week: "Do you regret it?"
> 
> title: c'est moi from camelot

“I hate to be mean, but you need to leave.”

All eyes turned to Michael in different shades of annoyance, but he stood his ground. He’d been very nice lately considering the situation. They were sort of stuck in a bad place and both Greg and Alex had put themselves out in order to protect Michael and his siblings from bad things, but Michael’s first priority was Alex. And Alex wasn’t happy.

It’d been two months since they left the town and they were still in a tiny, two bedroom apartment while they saved money to eventually find somewhere bigger and more secluded. Greg and Alex were working as farm hands and left early every day, spending their whole day dealing with things only to come home and be stuffed in a small ass area. Michael could feel the tension in Alex’s body building more and more every day and he’d heard him cry himself to sleep more than once and he had often shifted just so Alex could have some semblance of alone time so he could stop feeling so overwhelmed  _ all the time. _

But it wasn’t working. He needed to be alone or he was going to bust.

“Where exactly are we supposed to go?” Isobel asked. Michael shrugged.

“Anywhere. Just for a few hours at least,” he said. He knew Alex would much prefer longer, but they couldn’t be too picky. “And I think we should maybe shift and stay in the woods for a few weeks.”

“Wait, hold on a minute,” Max said at the idea.

“Michael, we can’t just change our lifestyle completely because your boyfriend has problems,” Isobel told him and Max shared the same expression. Michael didn’t understand what the issue was. Of all humans in the world to change their lifestyle for, Alex was the easiest. Maybe they hadn’t noticed how nice he was. But how had they missed that?

“Please?” Michael said, “Alex moved himself to keep us safe and he’s unhappy.”

“Guys, let’s just go find some place to eat and then we can drive around for a little while,” Greg said, standing up reluctantly. He gave Michael that stern look that never quite made sense to him, but he let him anyway. “Tell Alex he can’t kick us out all the time, so he does need to get used to us. But alright.”

Michael didn’t say that Alex certainly did not need to get used to them, but he didn’t say anything. Alex didn’t need to change at all. Not one bit.

He waited impatiently as they all slowly left and he watched off the balcony to make sure they left before he went back to the room he shared with Alex. It was tiny and they had to leave to even go to the bathroom and it meant that, even on his days off, Alex couldn’t just lock himself inside forever.

He was all curled up on the air mattress, a pillow over his head as he pressed himself against the wall. He had things in his ears to block out all the sound, but he said they didn’t work well. He could still  _ hear  _ and  _ feel  _ everyone talking and walking and existing in ways that drove him insane. It made Michael feel guilty.

He gently touched his leg.

“What do you want?” Alex asked, pulling the pillow away. His hair hung loose and unruly everywhere which seemed like another reason to be sad. That, however, didn’t hold a candle to his bloodshot eyes and damp cheeks.

“I got everyone to leave for a few hours, it’ll be quiet,” Michael said softly, “I’m gonna shift and sit out on the balcony so you have the place to yourself.”

Alex stared at him for a moment before nodding his head and laying back in bed. Michael went into the living room before shifting and then walking out onto the balcony where he laid down to get comfortable.

Michael didn’t mind giving Alex space, not at all. Sure, he liked being  _ with  _ him, but it was hard to enjoy that when he wasn’t. And he wasn’t. He was just  _ sad  _ and angry all the time and would shut down. It led to them never touching despite sleeping in the same bed and hardly talking despite sharing the same space. He knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose and he wasn’t  _ trying  _ to be mean or distant. But he was miserable, so the least Michael could do was give him space.

Alex was doing a lot for him by choosing this life instead of where he was comfortable to keep him safe, so Michael could extend the favor until they could get a place in the woods.

An hour passed before he heard footsteps and Michael peeked an eye open to see Alex quietly wandering the empty space. He walked quieter most of the time now, like he was scared of irritating people in the same way they irritated him. Most sounds irritated him now, actually. He got irrationally mad when the oven beeped and Michael had seen him start crying over not being able to stop hearing the sound of the washing machine. It was scary and Michael didn’t quite get it. Greg had pulled him aside and told him it was overstimulation and it happened to Alex a lot when he didn’t get time to debrief; it was why he was so violent as a kid. It was hard to imagine Alex as anything other than extremely kind.

However, it really seemed to put into perspective  _ why  _ Alex had lived in the woods. It seemed those moments that Michael felt when humans treated him so badly was how Alex felt  _ always _ . Isobel always said it was  _ Alex’s  _ problem. To Michael, though, it seemed like everyone’s problem. Wasn’t that how family worked?

Tonight, Alex pulled a bag of snap peas out of the refrigerator and curled up on the sofa. Michael tried not to watch him, tried to keep his attention to himself so he wouldn’t disrupt him. But, truthfully, it was a little hard. Alex was always so hard  _ not  _ to look at.

Once the sun had set completely, his footsteps got closer and Michael looked up to see Alex standing in the doorway. He’d tied a strip of fabric around his head to keep his hair out of his face and had taken his shirt off, his sweats hanging low on his tanned hips. He crouched down and pet the top of Michael’s head, scratching behind his ear before stroking the length of his back. Michael let his eyes close at the feeling. See? Not a violent bone in his body.

“Shift back?” Alex requested softly, “Greg texted me that he’ll be home in an hour and I want some alone time with you too since we never get that anymore.”

Michael nudged his nose against Alex’s knee in agreement and Alex gave him one final scratch before they both stood up and walked into the living room. While Alex’s back was turned to close the curtain, Michael shifted. He’d gotten quite good at doing it quickly, always only taking a little over a minute. He remembered when he was young, it took forever and it was painful. Now it was just a little bit of pain that he pushed through.

Once he was human again, he stretched and let his bones crack as they adjusted to the new form. Alex almost immediately came close and wrapped his arms around him. Michael held him right back and smiled at the feeling of being chest to chest with him again.

“I’m sorry you shift so much now, I know that’s gotta be a lot on your body,” Alex told him. Michael shook his head and kissed Alex’s bare shoulder.

“I’m alright,” he insisted, “Are you alright?”

Alex took a deep breath and shrugged, dragging his fingers over his spine. Michael immediately wondered if there was a way to give him space to be alone for a whole day. Maybe he could start looking for a cabin and figure out the rest later. 

“Do you regret it?” Michael asked, “Leaving for me?”

Alex raised his head and looked at him. He was tired and his eyes were sad, but he  _ really  _ looked at him. Michael waited for whatever he had to say.

“No,” Alex told him, “Not for you. Anyone else? Yeah, maybe I regret that, but… not you.”

Michael nodded and dropped his forehead against Alex’s. They were in the middle of the living room and they could have this moment without watchful eyes on them or without Isobel making a comment or without Max coughing in order to make them stop. It was easy to get on board with getting a more private space.

Alex tilted his head up and pressed a kiss to his lips, one that Michael reciprocated easily. He missed kissing him and he was eager for it, but he kept himself in check to not push too much. Still, he found himself on his toes and trying to press in closer despite all of his mental checking. Alex smiled for the first time in awhile and broke the kiss, but didn’t pull away. His hand went up to cup the back of Michael’s head, keeping him close as he bumped their noses together. Michael smiled.

“Hi,” he breathed. Alex huffed a little laugh and it was the best sound Michael had ever heard.

“Hi,” Alex said back, pressing another kiss to his lips, “Come lay down with me?”

“Yes,” Michael agreed. Alex smiled softly and Michael felt like his brain was melting. He knew he wasn’t all better, that just a few hours wasn’t enough to prepare him for another week or longer of this, but it was enough that he was okay  _ now. _

Alex kept his hand on his hip as he tugged him back into the room they shared. Michael kicked the door closed and, for a moment, he let himself think about a fun future where they could leave the door open. He felt slightly robbed that he never got the chance to have Alex like this when it was just them. He never got the joys of taking him apart on the floor of the cabin, in his safe space. Alex was always so tense here and they never got the chance to just  _ be.  _

But tonight they could.

Alex pulled him onto the bed and pressed in close. Michael could feel him trying to really put his all in this, trying to relax beforehand instead of using it as a relaxation technique. Michael dug the heel of his hand into the muscles of his back, his hip, his thighs, trying to work out all the tension. He didn’t think it was actually working, but it did  _ something  _ and Alex slowly relaxed in the wake of his hands on him.

Michael could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam
> 
> as always, if I missed any tags, let me know


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